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Thursday, 5 July 2012

On keeping up the good work

So, I've kind of arrived in the life-of-my-dreams situation, not to be too smug about it.

Years ago I really wanted to change my life and make it meaningful, useful and creative.  I left university and ended up in some pretty boring jobs, although I have to say I rocked them for the most part, and made the best of them, and learnt a great deal about all sorts of useful things.

So, around 2003 I realised that married life with job wasn't really fulfilling me, and I did some serious soul searching and study, and a bit of travelling, because that's what us white middle-class hippies do!

Shortly after I returned, I did one of those throw-everything-away-and-start-again numbers.  No more job, no more marriage, no more cosy house, no plans.  

It was great for my figure (OK maybe I got a bit too skinny!) and terrible for my bank balance.  My judgement regarding men went haywire for a bit (that's another blog post, probably one I'll never write!).

But in amongst all this, I was treading firmly along the path that led me right here - to my dream arts cafe.  I still pinch myself daily as I stand and look at it.  I mean LOOK AT IT!!

When stormtroopers turn up for tea, I really do wonder if it's a particularly bonkers product of my subconscious.  Which, in a way, it actually is.

So, I'm totally bloody over the moon with the whole situation and that's the truth of it.  Here's something they don't tell you though.  Some days, even your dream job is a bit of a drag.

In fact, it's worse because you feel unmotivated, then you feel guilty for feeling unmotivated, then you feel worse.  Oh my goodness.

That's when the mission comes into play, because at the end of the day it ain't ever been all about me, me, me.  Sure, working here is a hoot and most days it's more fun than work, even the work stuff is fun.  I get to be myself, I get to be around an amazing bunch of people, I get to eat burritos for lunch every day (which has sorted out that too skinny problem, I can tell ya, and then some).

On the days it's not fun, when crises hit, or I'm just grumpy, or one of the other crew are grumpy, I have a fuel I never had in those boring jobs.  I know people are counting on me.  I know people are happier because of the work we're doing.  Not like 'oooo I've got some cake' happier (though that, too) but 'ooooo I can live my dreams' happier.  Like, the happier I've managed to find.

It's a buzz like no other, and it gets me through the worst days.  Whatever mood I'm in, I've got a job to do that I believe in right in the core of my little heart.  So I get on with the good work and soon I'm feeling just fine again!

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." ~George Bernard Shaw


 


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